December 17, 2007

Lamest excuse ever; foiled

  • D: Will you go swing-dancing with me tomorrow morning?
  • K: No, sorry, I... have to pick dandelions!
  • D: We just had a snow storm - the dandelions are all dead.
December 7, 2007

Hippy witness being questioned about weed in his car

  • Lawyer: So you found the weed under your spare tire?
  • Witness: Yeah
  • Lawyer: You just so happend to check under there?
  • Witness: I look there all the time - it turns me on

Gangster student trying to sound smart while cross-examining a witness during mock trials

  • Gangster: Could you please tell us about your parents' debts?
  • Witness: Well, they vary
  • Gangster: ... Could you complete that statement? Are they very HIGH or very LOW?
  • Teacher: *literally, falls out of chair*
November 24, 2007
Rafia is awesome.
Rafia is awesome.
November 23, 2007

I just made a resolution not to talk to him unless he starts a conversation.  I knew I would probably break it, but I didn’t expect that it would happen that soon.

Why can’t I just stop caring? Or, better yet, just stop thinking completely…

November 16, 2007

In A Pineapple Under The Sea

  • M: You're almost exactly like Spongebob. If only you were yellow and soft, and square...
November 15, 2007

He Just Wanted To Go Hunting

  • Vinny Gambini: What about these pants I got on? You think they're okay?
  • Mona Lisa Vito: Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water - BAM! A fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head. Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I ask ya, would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son-of-a-bitch who shot you was wearing?